It is no surprise that I am excited at the prospect of a grandchild coming into the world. The excitement I feel for myself is only exceeded by the joy I feel for those two who are your parents. Like other grandparents-to-be, my mind has raced to consider what help I can be, what changes should I make, and what my role should be.
I have commonly heard that grandparents spoil their children. That visits to and from them will provide a steady stream of coddling and attention that may sabotage some level of discipline the parents work hard to instill.
Spoiling you? I do not see this as my role to you.
And I don’t think that most grandparents see this as their chief duty, if a duty at all. Most see love and affection as their main gift, and a reliable surrogate for stressed and tired parents. A dependable body to help when needed.
And yes, watching you grow and learn and become are the reward I will receive for my presence. And I will delight in the opportunity to introduce you to the forest and watch your eyes in wondrous fascination of nature. The building of a campfire and the cacophony of wildlife at the stages of the day are experiences I hope to share.
And I will gladly teach you to throw a ball and swing a golf club and tennis racket, or at least be an adjunct in that education. And I hope to watch as you see and smell your first experiences at the ancient arenas of sport. For sport teaches more than bodily movement and strength. It teaches us to cooperate and embrace our fellows. How to compete with respect, how to honor others achievement, and the importance of loss.
And I will tell you of the things I love, of cloth and wood, of textiles and colors, of words and sentences, of kindness and virtue. We need to see what others treasure in order to determine what our treasures will be.
I have gained a fair amount of knowledge and perhaps a measured amount of wisdom in my years. This is something that only my longevity and curiosity could have gathered. This is unique to me. Experience is a great teacher to those who know they are students. And more time in life’s classrooms means more lessons to share. These are lessons that would be different from anyone else.
No, it will not be my duty to create rules and laws for you to follow. You have parents capable to that task, parents who have your interests in mind and resources available to consult if they need advice. Though it will fall on me to occasionally enforce those rules, it isn’t for me to make them.
I can teach you much, but it isn’t for me to tell you what to believe. I have a whole history of undoing beliefs foisted on me by well-intentioned people in my own past. I will share with on occasion over time beliefs that I may have, but only to show how they were built, and why my grip of them remains tenuous.
I think rather that teaching you how to think a much more worthwhile endeavor. It will not be for me to fill your mind with content, though I suppose some great measure of that will happen planned and unplanned; but rather to load you with tools for how to think for yourself. It is this as a practical matter, that seems the best use of whatever wisdom I have gained; to teach you how to reason, how to discern, how to think. But not what to think. Your own thinking mind is the best tool for gaining knowledge.
Thoughts should be born, not placed in your mind.
But in this I speak only of some practical training, some function as a life tutor. A duty that falls short of what must be my main purpose where you are concerned. And that is to be always on your side and in your corner. A reliable lap of love and safety.
I promise now that I will always be there for you with love. I will never reject you, nor withhold my tender affection. I will always be your champion and never cause you to doubt that commitment. You will have in me someone you can completely rely on through all the days of your life, or more practically, my life, to accept you and cheer you on. I am not here to make you into someone, but to accept the someone that you become.
I am Papa. And the first time I hear you say that word to me will be the most joyous moment of my life.